As someone who practices persistence, and has a deep level of adaptability, I have a tenancy to keep pushing forward. This is true even when things are clearly not going well. You see, I am an eternal optimist, and it can cause me to have blind spots. Over the last 22 years that I have been an adult, I will be honest, this problem has gotten worse, as I have become more confident in my abilities.
I could list many examples of situations that could have been handled better, but rather than take a step back, I just plow forward. Thinking fast on my feet has given me a false sense of confidence, especially when I start talking without actually knowing exactly where I am going with a statement. Ever started saying something and then had to admit, "I don't know where I was going with that."?
Beginning to speak before fully formulating my thoughts happens a lot to me. Often times I am actually surprised that I am able to pull it back around and make a good point, because when I start, I only have a rough idea of what I am going to say. This has also caused me to find my right foot inserted deep within my mouth on several occasions.
Something I have been working on recently is this novel idea, and biblical president, of listening fully before speaking. I know, what a crazy notion, but as it turns out, this is helpful to both parties. First I tend to interrupt less when I listen all the way through, and this gives me more time to actually think about what I am about to say.
Ask anyone I know and you will hear from almost everyone that I am an interrupter. As an auditory learner, I like to repeat information for clarity, as well as speak out my thoughts as a means of formulating my own ideas. I also have a terrible sense that what I have to say is really important. It can be taxing for people who I talk to because I tend to absorb all of the oxygen in the room.
When I really do not know what I am saying, I find that stopping, and actually formulating my thoughts is helpful. This might even be in the middle of a sentence, where we need to pause and correct ourselves. In essence I am doing a second take, or take two. It is ok to start over. This will help both parties.
In another way, I try and remind myself to "take two", as in take two more seconds before you start, or give the other person two more seconds or minutes to complete their sentence. This is not easy, yet can have a powerful impact in improving communication.
Next time you are in a conversation, and struggling to find your words, or understand the perspective of the other individual, Take Two.
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